Balinese massage parlour
This story of a massage parlour climaxes, excuse the innuendo, when the worker states “finish massage” but the customer mistakenly hears it as a question – “penis massage?”. Awkward. The client is, of course, me. And this was just the end of a rather anxious hour.
It shouldn’t be this way. The whole idea of a massage is to relax; to lose yourself in the moment; allow the stress to be released from every fibre of your body as the experienced hands work their wonders.
The problem is, when you’re getting a massage in a place like Asia, you’re never quite sure if there will be an offer for those hands to work wonders on a part of the body that wouldn’t normally be included.
Here we have the unhappy beginning of the happy ending. The fears of those who simply want a no-thrills massage but aren’t quite sure what kind of establishment they’re in.
The Balinese massage I was getting, like most, was already quite sensual.
Warm oil is poured onto your back. As those hands move up and down your back, they seem to go a little lower every time.
The paper underwear you’ve been given to rather unsuccessfully appease your modesty are pushed down a little further. Not many people are this intimate.
So perhaps that’s when the idea first gets planted in my mind. It wasn’t there when the touts first approached me on the street. It wasn’t there as I walked into the store and chose my program. It wasn’t even there as I slipped out of my clothes and lay down on the bed.
No, it was when I have another person’s hands caressing my body, touching my trigger points, knowing exactly what to do to make me feel so comfortable.
To make matters worse, there are no other customers in the massage parlour. It’s a large room on the second floor with about ten beds. Each bed has curtains around it for privacy.
As I lie with my head pointing down and my lower back being stroked, I consider that the curtains wouldn’t do much to muffle any sounds… if this was the kind of place where inappropriate sounds were to be made. Having said that, we are the only two people in the room so noise is not going to be an issue on this occasion.
Although there’s a very good chance this is a legitimate service, the thought is there and it’s going to scratch away through every of the sixty minutes that I should be relaxing.
If you are looking for a legitimate massage, there’s this wonderful spa in Ubud that I would recommend.
Potential scenarios start to play out in my head and I consider the options to get out of a sticky situation. To be honest, most of the solutions seem quite easy, but thinking about them is still distracting my mind from whatever it should be doing (which is probably not much).
So, sixty minutes later, when it ends, my head is spinning with these thoughts.
Everything has been professional… not really surprising. But when I hear the words “finish massage”, accented by that Asian politeness, and there’s the aforementioned awkward moment, I realise that perhaps it’s not me who has been most anxious.
Just don’t ask about when I offer an extra bit of cash at the end and explain that “it’s just for the tip”.
If you’re looking for a real massage in Bali, why not try some of the luxurious options up in the jungle of Ubud. One of the best is the Hanging Gardens Spa, or there are a few more suggestions here:
THE BEST ACCOMMODATION IN BALI
I’ve got some tips here, based on what area you want to stay.
To be in the heart of the action, you might like Kuta.
For the trendiest bars and cafes, you can stay in Seminyak.
For something a bit more chilled on the coast, try Canggu.
Or for the mountains, the obvious choice is Ubud.
If you’re looking for something affordable in Kuta, I would recommend Green Garden Hotel.
And, even though it’s got a central location, Amnaya Resort offers peaceful affordable luxury.
When it comes to Seminyak, I would suggest CR Tris Rooms for an affordable hotel.
And for modern luxury, Kanvaz Village Resort is wonderful.
For Canggu, a lovely hotel at a reasonable price is Perissos Echo Beach.
For some stunning accommodation, the Haven Suites in Canggu is fantastic.
And in Ubud, I would recommend Ubud Tropical Garden 2 for an affordable hotel.
Or, for a really special boutique place, have a look at Calma Ubud.
42 thoughts on ““Finish massage” sounds like “penis massage””
I know a female who got a happy ending in Bali last year.
She wasn’t asked but, as you said, the massage was sensual from the get go. The guy obviously sensed her arousal and with a quick ‘touch’ in the place so few can find, she was away.
True story. A quick touch under her bikini bottoms. AWAY!
Can you tell me the first name of the massuse who got her off, and what city he was located in?
I think I may have been to the same establishment not 3months ago – and I possibly even had the same masseuse.
Word of warning – avoid wearing those Aussie Bum ‘boost your package type duds’ when indulging in such an experience – they only cause confusion when you roll over for the ‘front part’ of your (ahem)package!
Hahahahaha… it would definitely be ‘penis massage’ in the west java area where the Sundanese can’t pronounce ‘v’ or ‘f’.
Not only that, sometimes people pronounce meeting as ‘meting’ and sounds like mating :))
We know of 2 massage places in Bali who give the ladies a happy ending
Care to share which places – I’d like to send my girlfriend 🙂
Do you mind to share the places to me? with thanks!
Check it out TBM Bali , tbmbali
We would love to make ur lovely gf scream , sensual touch by male or female therapists …
We will wait for u
Can you tell me this 2 places ? I need places in Ubud or Nusa Dua
I had been to Bangkok and Pattaya many times seen that in many massage parlours massage girls do penis massage if you pay tip to her even they can suck your cock also if you ask for that.In Bali I never been if there is any massage parlours then let me know.I am like penis massage some time with oil massage after ending up of massage.Thai massage is very nice first can take thai massage then can take oil massage then go for penis if like.I like this website very much would like to get updates from you time to time on such issues or on other issues from asian countries.I am fond of asia because I am from India can write some features on travel story from India also.
of course the massage was sensual….it’s a massage. it involves soothing touch. i dont see anything to be afraid or embarassed about. if you want a non-erotic massage, it is very easy to just communicate about it up front. same if you do want an erotic massage. honest, up front communication really isn’t so complicated. i encourage you to speak up next time you feel uncomfortable or apprehensive. clear the air. communicate what you want and dont want. no need for so much shame, fear, and judgment around touch, sexual or otherwise. an erotic massage is no more or less ‘ligitimate’ than an non-sexual one. this judgment only reflects your own fear and the fact that this isnt what you want. (same goes for the labels about ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’ sounds…which again are only reflections of your own judgment projected outward from your personal preferences). so just say what you want. ‘i would prefer a non-erotic massage.’ no need for the ‘legit’ or ‘non-legit’ labels, or so much fear around your penis. your penis is just another part of your body…and your whole body is ok, whole, perfect the way it is. and yes, it’s ok to be massaged there, just like anywhere else. it can even be done non-erotically, believe it or not. just honor what you feel and speak up for what you want instead of stuffing it out of shame. especially when you are paying money for a service. and finally, i have to wonder…and ask you to honestly consider: might you actually have secretly wanted and even enjoyed an erotic massage, noises and all? you have the option to make that clear as well, and let go of all this shame around penises and sexual touch. you only hurt yourself with this silence, apprehension, and fear.
Thank you for your wonderful perspective. I have long had discomfort around touch and sexuality stemming from a traumatized childhood. It is so refreshing to hear a voice that isn’t steeped in shame and discomfort around these subjects. I’m still navigating my way through the deep waters that is my past. But wish to extend my gratitude to you for opening a door …
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i want massage …
I will be visiting Bali on my way to India. Main purpose of visit to Bali is massage. I am told boys give good clit massage to women. I am only afraid they may demand sex after massage. I do not want to indulge in sex with these therapists. Any good massage parlor can you suggest?
Dr Pratima Deshpande
Hi Dr. Pratima.
I am just married and I am planning my honeymoon in Bali. Just wanted to know your experience in Bali and specially whether it is safe for female massage. Which Location ? Any any other things which you would like to share.
What was your experience ?
Is there any traveler to write the good massage parlor for me.i am going to Bali in fall and i will be happy to get any information about massage parlor and address.thanks
I like to keep up to date on Bali Happy endings.. As an infrequent visitor
I am going to visit bali on 6th Oct to 8th Oct plz help to find Complete satisfactory Massage along with good Cooperative female Therapist to understand better n cooperate if possible thnkx
I will be visiting Bali . Main purpose of visit to Bali is massage. I am told boys give good clit massage to women. I am only afraid they may demand sex after massage. I do not want to indulge in sex with these therapists. Any good massage parlor can you suggest?
hi did u find one , if u interested to have one in india , i would be pleased to offer you the best professional tantra massage .
Deepika did you get any good massage in bali.
Did you get a good one in Bali?, for my wife.
To my surprise I got a great massage and the guy was great with his fingers. Very professional. Funny thing he gave me his email to reach out to him in future..lol
Hi Christina, what was the name of the place ?
Hello Christina…can you share the name and/or location for such?
Hi am you let me know the email I’d pls
anywhere in Bali for couples erotic massage to both experience special finish together ?
add LINE ID muhaliminez, you find a good one in Kuta
like to know happy ending massage for women
Thanks for offering adult massage like lingam & Yoni, Both massages are huge trend.
I have a female friend who said she got the best sensual massage by a male therapist in Seminyak she highly recommends and sees every time she goes to Bali.
She said he is both great at therapeutic massage and sensual goddess masage. She said it would be ideal for women of all ages married or single wanting to feel pleasure on their holidays in a safe environment . She’ has recommended her more open minded friends and even booked her 20 yr old daughter in as a bday present and her daughter went from being overly insecure and unhappy about her body to becoming more self confident, relaxed and just a happier person with less anxiety so it can be more beneficial in more ways then one.
She gave me his email and I’m going to book in next month when I’m in Bali and happy to update my experience ( [email protected] is how I contacted him but he isn’t in Bali all the time so best to messsge in advance she said )
Pl advise what sort of massage u can give in one he and the location map in dec and the charges
That’s why I believe in happy beginnings shoot that load before the massage and then you’re relaxed
Can I get a massage
Hi body massage is good
I’m Coming Bali on 16th April any Female want male massage therapist. Mail me:- [email protected]
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The perfect massage requires a proper atmosphere. It is best when performed in a quiet and peaceful place. It is important that this place stimulates all the senses.