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It’s all Spanish to me!

December 3, 2018 | Michael Turtle | 12 Comments

LANGUAGE LESSONS

So, do you want to know what I discovered about Spanish? Apparently it’s not possible to learn it in a day. Yes, after my first Spanish lesson, that’s about all I have learnt.

My teacher has told me that the only phrase I brought to the classroom is, in fact, useless. So there goes a wasted hour practising “Hasta la vista” to try to impress him with my pronunciation!

After four hours of sitting in the lesson this morning, I have ended up with more questions than answers.

Why do Spanish-speaking people bother writing down two l’s if they’re just going to pronounce it like a y anyway? Just write y!

And the same goes for that silly h that never even gets mentioned at the start of words – it just hangs around the other letters, not doing anything, just silent and annoying. I’ve decided the h is like the Stephen Baldwin of the Spanish alphabet.

learn spanish in buenos aires, spanish school, argentina

I’ve got another problem with this language – they pronounce the z like an s. That would not be such an issue except it has ruined my childhood.

Why? One word: Zorro. It’s not Sorro. That makes him sound like a bit of a pussy.

No little kid is going to go around with his sword carving out an s in the wall. It hurts your wrist too much (try it!).

Spanish language – you have ruined my childhood dream of being a masked villain-fighting hero!

It seemed like such a good idea to enrol in Spanish school in Buenos Aires for a month. I thought it would enrich my experience of South America and bring me closer to the people.

Languages are important for digital nomads. Sadly, it seems I’m destined to sound less like Antonio Banderas and more like Speedy Gonzales.

This will only be useful when I need to tell people to “arriba, arriba”. And that phrase will only be useful once I learn what it means.

learn spanish in buenos aires, spanish school, argentina

Oh, it’s been so long since I was in a classroom (if you don’t include the birthday party that my friend held in a lecture hall – you know who you are!). It’s strange to have to answer questions, to take notes, and be given homework.

I’d actually forgotten what it was like to avoid doing your homework every evening.

Do you know the word for ‘homework’ in Spanish? No, nor did I. I just looked it up on the internet.

Seriously, why do we need to learn languages these days when everything is just on the internet? I could do a search for every word I need as I need it and it would still be faster than picking up the language at the school.

Sigh… the internet. Or, as they say in Spanish, la internet.

For now, the words all blur into the same strange characters when I look at them, and when people talk to me it just sounds like they’re singing a Shakira song. Badly. Like her. Hopefully, though, the language will start to seep into my under-utilised brain and soon I won’t feel like such a fool.

This morning a bird landed on the windowsill outside our classroom and the teacher asked us what it was in Spanish. After flicking quickly through my dictionary I said “la pajaro”. The teacher said, “almost, but it’s masculine”, to which I replied “wow, you’ve got good eyesight”. Boom tish.

Reader Interactions

    Comments Cancel reply

  1. Lucas |

    November 15, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Reply

    jajajajaja. (spanish speakers use this computer laugh as the h is silent!) buena suerte amigo! I hope that dictionary gets a lot of use! right o

    • Turtle |

      November 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm

      Reply

      The Spanish dictionary has had heaps of use! It’s even featured on the blog, hasn’t it? Thanks so much for leaving it with me – I promise I’ll look after it. That dictionary has many more people to help through the long months in South America 🙂

  2. Kristen |

    November 15, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Reply

    usted es tan impresionante!!

    Not that I want you to circumvent learning Spanish, but check out this app:
    http://speechtrans.com/

    muy bueno

    🙂

    • Turtle |

      November 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm

      Reply

      Ha ha! I looked up your Spanish sentence and I agree completely! 🙂
      And thanks for the app advice… I reckon that’s going to save the day many times. (I’ve just got to make sure my teacher doesn’t catch me using it in class!)

  3. Rease |

    November 22, 2011 at 4:11 am

    Reply

    Hahaha, aw, this makes me feel bad for you. I remember the days of learning Spanish, but at least I was 13 and in the groove of school still. Keep trying!

    • Turtle |

      November 22, 2011 at 8:47 am

      Reply

      Urgh. And it just gets harder! I thought I had this language mastered and then we got told there are ‘irregular verbs’. Sigh…

  4. James |

    December 7, 2011 at 5:12 am

    Reply

    jajaja, I feel your pain Turtle! I’ve been studying here in Panama for two months now, and I’m only just getting it, so hang in there!

    Zorro is even funnier in Spain, as they pronounce Z as th. I find it hard to take even a man carrying a sword seriously when he introduces himself as Thorro!

    • Turtle |

      December 7, 2011 at 7:09 am

      Reply

      This is the last week (of 4) and I still feel like a kindergarten student would beat me in a debate (in fact, that’s not even debatable!) Hopefully things improve as I travel through the rest of the continent. Necessity to communicate may force me to get better.

  5. Christoph |

    December 10, 2011 at 8:55 am

    Reply

    If you think Spanish is confusing, have a look at this:

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TPv9gUFcV_o/TrS6kxSF_mI/AAAAAAAALj0/l39lf1B9LSQ/s1600/Welcome%2BTo%2BThe%2BEnglish%2BLanguage%2B-%2BGHOTI%2BFISH.png

    • Turtle |

      December 10, 2011 at 8:57 am

      Reply

      Ha ha! Point taken! (I’ve always said that I’m so glad I didn’t have to learn English – it’s not a fun language!)

  6. Marco |

    January 22, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    Reply

    Jajaj Is your teacher, by any chance, latin american?
    In the original Spanish language, the z is pronounced kinda like a ‘th’ but with the point of your toungue sticking out between your teeth (try listening to Antonio Banderas in spanish. He IS Zorro so he should know).

    Your posts are very entertaining

    • Michael Turtle |

      February 6, 2013 at 12:40 am

      Reply

      Ha ha – yes, I was learning in Argentina so I’ve had all sorts of issues with the weird accent. I fear the actual Spanish judge me (more than they should)!

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This is the website of travel writer, Michael Turtle. After working in broadcast journalism for a decade in Australia, Michael left Sydney to travel the world indefinitely and write about the places, people and experiences he discovers. This isn't a diary - these are real stories from the world.

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