There are some weird and wacky things to eat out there in the world. Over the years, I’ve tried scorpion, silkworm and even tarantula. But they were nothing compared to this experience of eating animal penis.
The first thing that surprised me was the actual restaurant. I was expecting a strange, small, dark establishment appropriate for the dodgy cuisine we were able to try. In my mind this was quite a subversive thing to be doing and I thought the décor would reflect that – I imagined furtively glancing around at other patrons as we bit into a forbidden food, sharing an unspoken and guilty feeling of naughtiness. So it was quite a shock to walk into a rather posh restaurant with private rooms, crystal goblets, gold cutlery and a personal waitress who would explain the health benefits of the appendages we were about to taste. Apparently penis is quite a delicacy in China and the other rooms were full of businessmen who were clearly trying to impress.
The menu showed the types of penis we could choose and they certainly didn’t look too appetizing on paper. Still, we went with a platter that had three types of penis, as well as donkey meat and a turtle soup. (In the end I probably felt more queasy about the turtle than anything, but that’s a family thing.)
The waitress was very proud of the cuisine and went to great lengths to explain the food in detail (and in Chinese). There was great health to be had from eating the penis and it even had aphrodisiac qualities. The whiter meat was better for the women and the darker meat should be eaten by the men. The meat was complemented by the broth it was cooked in and together they created a yin and a yang. And so on. But I forgot most of the information when she put three plates on the table and described them as bull penis, lamb penis and black dog penis. We all gasped. My god, they looked like cock!
We stared at them for a while, not quite sure what to do. It had all seemed a bit of a laugh until the meal was actually presented, us staring at it and it staring back with its plates of one eyes. I was also expecting the penis to be served in a stir-fry or a hotpot. But, no, they were just all piled up on a plate like a bowl of chips.
Now, I’m going to stop here for a second because the thing you need to know about eating penis is that the experience is not about the taste so much, but about the texture. There isn’t a really strong flavour to it, especially when you dip it into a sauce. But there is a very distinct feel to the food as you chew it and let it slide down your throat. You can’t just chomp away at this while you chat and drink. Each piece you put in your mouth is an effort.
The bull penis was the most like an actual meat – slightly sinewy and slimy it took a few bites before you could swallow and tasted pretty much like fat.
The lamb penis was like a tendon – long and thin in shape and chewy beneath the teeth. It had a slightly more distinctive taste that was somewhere between rubber and revulsion.
The black dog penis, though, had a rather dirty taste and was the hardest to swallow. It required a lot of chewing before it was soft enough and the flavour changed several times as the juices were released. This one needed a lot of sauce to make it palatable.
Needless to say, we didn’t get through all the food that was put on our table. I think our waitress realised we were here more for the experience than for a hearty meal. Towards the end of the dinner she even brought in a large gelato in the shape of an erect penis (complete with veins) that had been leftover from another room’s meal.
This may be a delicacy in China, but surely it’s all about the show for most of the customers because it’s not the most pleasurable dining experience you can have here in Beijing. With so many great foods on offer, I’m glad we gave it a go and tried it. We won’t be rushing back, though…
Where can I eat at the penis restaurant in Beijing?
The restaurant with animal penis as its specialty is called Guolizhuang (锅里壮). There are actually a few different locations in Beijing but I would recommend going to the one in the Dongcheng District.
They hardly speak any English there, so it would be best to go with someone who can speak Chinese or you never know what you’ll end up putting in your mouth. Also keep in mind that it’s quite a high-end restaurant by Beijing standards so you might want to dress appropriately.
The English address is 34B Dongsishitiao, Dongcheng district, about 500 metres of Dongsihitiao Bridge, on the south side of the road. But you can show these Chinese characters to a taxi driver to get you there:
东城区东四十条桥往西500米路
To get an update on the next Time Travel Turtle story, click on the LIKE button below:
loading...
Turtle, like the name suggests, likes to take things slowly. Luckily that's one of the best ways to see the world - and that's exactly what he's doing at the moment.
This is the website of travel writer, Michael Turtle. After working in broadcast journalism for a decade in Australia, Michael left Sydney to travel the world indefinitely and write about the places, people and experiences he discovers. This isn't a diary - these are real stories from the world.
21 Responses
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth…
Oh Turtle that’s awful!!!!!!! And descriptive. I gagged at the dog dick. Eeewwwwww! Good on you for giving it a try though.
Interesting way to spend an afternoon! Good on you for giving it a try! (passes some mouthwash over to you)
Turtle soup? REALLY?? That’s a bit sad.
And there’s no way I’m putting penis in my mouth!! er ..ar .. um .. hang on …
You said it, Lisa…
The address is “34B Dongsishitiao, Dongcheng district, about 500 metres of Dongsihitiao Bridge.”
DONGsishitiao, DONGchen
Are you #%$^ kidding me?!” AHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHA
Ha ha – I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Pretty funny!
Hi Turtle, I am new to your blog (you are living my dream by the way) and this is the first post I read.
Now I am not sure what to think!
Please don’t judge it by this post alone! I promise they’re not all about penis!
That gelato really takes the cake haha It really shows how much of a gimmick the whole setup is, like you said, rather than a hearty meal. I think you’re pretty brave to have tried any of them.
Patricia GW recently posted..Paris Reminiscing
The gelato was certainly a highlight. Mainly because, unlike everything else, it actually tasted nice!
Your dream is to eat penis???
Ha ha!
My god, this makes me want to vomit. I have serious issues with texture and the way you described this just sounds revolting.
Rease recently posted..The Not So Magical Florida Wildlife
I wouldn’t recommend it at all if you have issues with texture. That’s the worst thing about it all! Yech, I even hate remembering it…
Good lord. Turtle, I salute you. God knows how you managed to swallow without gagging.
I’m really impressed with the centerpiece of the penis plate though; as if a bunch of flowers and a few sprigs of parsley are going to detract from the grossness of it all?!
Flora recently posted..Photo of the Week: In the Souks of Damascus
I don’t know how I did it. It was not particularly nice at all. The centrepiece was a classy touch, right?
I am quite speechless by this post. I would eat anything…but penis…errr…I guess you’re a brave man?
Aggy recently posted..Walking in the Zürich Wonderland
It was not the tastiest thing I’ve ever had. That much I will confess. And, I have to say, I don’t think I’ll be rushing back to try it again.
ha ha love the gelato penis!
Ally recently posted..My Travel Budget, and How to Make Your Own
It’s certainly not your average dessert!