BREAKING NEWS: Irish citizens see sun for first time

Earlier reports that an apocalypse had struck in Ireland have proven to be false. This news organisation has confirmed the large flaming ball was the sun.

Written by Michael Turtle

Michael Turtle is the founder of Time Travel Turtle. A journalist for more than 20 years, he's been travelling the world since 2011.

Michael Turtle is the founder of Time Travel Turtle and has been travelling full time for a decade.

Updated:

Irish sunshine

Earlier reports that an apocalypse had struck in Ireland’s Kerry County have proven to be false. This news organisation has since been able to confirm that the large flaming ball in the sky was in fact the sun.

Citizens all across Ireland awoke on Thursday morning to a piercing brightness that led many to believe the world was ending.

“I was so terrified when I first woke up and my wife was screaming,” Paddy O’Paddy said.

“I decided to go outside so I grabbed my fiddle and I grabbed my Guinness and I went out the door and, d’yknow what I saw? Blue stuff! Everywhere up above me!”

“I didn’t know where the sky had gone. This strange colour had taken over the lovely grey!”

Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos

Businesses across the country were forced to shut because residents were unable to leave their homes due to the brightness.

“I tried to head out to work at the potato factory but I was blinded as soon as I got out the front door,” Killarney resident Fanny O’Flannery said.

“I had to squeeze my eyes shut and crawl back inside. I now understand why Bono always wears sunglasses when he’s touring overseas!”

Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos

A sudden rush at supermarkets left many stores sold-out of canned goods, batteries and steak and Guinness pies.

“People are stocking up in case this goes on for a long time and they can’t leave their homes,” Cork storeowner Connor O’Connor said.

Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos

Some adventure-seekers did leave the safety of their homes for the exhilarating experience of lying in a park or on a beach without their shirts on.

“It’s a real buzz to feel the heat on my shoulders,” Leary O’Leary said in Galway.

“I was worried that I would just make things even glarier when I took my shirt off but it turns out that orange globe in the sky is even brighter than my skin,” he continued, as he turned an unhealthy shade of pink.

Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos

The Irish President, Danny O’Danny, took to the airwaves to try to reassure his citizens. In a nationally-televised address from the stage of a Dublin pub, President O’Connor sang the following message.

“I urge everyone to remain calm during this national emergency. We’ve been through tough periods before – like when it didn’t rain for a week so the leprechauns ran out of gold… and all of Sinead O’Connor’s divorces. Like those times, we will get through this together.”

Photos of the sun in Ireland

To mark this historic event in Ireland’s history, this news organisation has put together a photo essay of the solar devastation.

Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos
Ireland, countryside, sun, blue skies, beautiful Ireland photos

Time Travel Turtle was a guest of Stena Line, Paddy Wagon Tours and Discover Ireland but the opinions, over-written descriptions and bad jokes are his own.

31 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: Irish citizens see sun for first time”

    • I’m not sure if there is a ‘dry season’ but it would definitely be worth trying to go when the weather is a bit better. There’s still a lot to do in the rain, but you would miss these beautiful scenic vistas!

      Reply
  1. Smile. 🙂

    My only time in Ireland it was sunny for several days IN A ROW. With only intermittent afternoon showers. People definitely out on Trinity Green.

    Reply
  2. I saw pictures of Israelis getting snow for the first time, and they tried to make snowmen, but they didn’t know how to make a “regular” snowman, so they actually had individual legs instead of just three stacked spheres. Noobs!

    Reply
  3. I lived in the UK and Ireland for over 12 years. But I really had a hard time in Ireland. I went into depression mode. Where was the sun? It was so horrible I had to leave. I still don’t believe my friends when they say it’s sunny. Liars…too much guinness in their veins.

    Reply
    • I guess it all depends on what you’re used to. I actually get a bit tired of the sun and the heat when I’m travelling in countries where that’s all you get. Having said that, I’m so glad Ireland was sunny when I was there because it made the place so stunning!

      Reply
  4. Hmm. Was enjoying your other posts but this one leans heavily on tired, cliche stereotypes in trying to be funny. Surprised you didn’t work in any Lucky Charms jokes.

    Reply
    • Oh, I’m sorry if you were offended by it. Of course it was full of lazy stereotypes… I am pretty lazy like that. And also I thought it would make it obvious that it was a silly joke. The more cliched it sounds, the more stupid it is, and the more people will realise it’s nothing like real life in Ireland.
      And, of course, by even mentioning sun in Ireland, I’m sure readers will realise it is pure fiction!

      Reply
  5. I am writing from Gresham, Oregon, USA. We have the same weather. I laughed reading your blog. The same jokes are told about us. My father used to say the only way you could tell summer from winter is the summer rains are warmer. The rain does give both of us our beautiful green countryside. I hope to see Ireland some day.

    Reply

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